i got it!
they decided to hand me thd job. i am now an interim director of operations.
at first i thought it was a shame to have that interim there, but my boss said she was still mapping out what kind of person she wants to have when the company becomes bigger (we're at 14M usd now we aim to be at 75M in the next few years. )
i can feel the stress, but at the same time, im happy to have a role that challenges me mentally again, and to have the raise.
I'll do good thanks to the wishes of my colleagues.
and strangers on the internet too.