It is my first time getting so mad that I consciously decided to unfriend someone in real life.

03 Nov, 2025

We have a trip coming in three weeks, and one of my friends, A, cancelled because she got accepted to a new job and she said she can't take a leave. She will still pay her share, but she will not go.

We planned this trip 3 months prior, mostly me; I planned most of it. I contacted tour people and made sure everything is aligned. I basically harassed everybody to reply when I ask something, because we wanted to go on a trip.

A month before the trip, another friend, B, cancelled because of work, which I understood. She has to travel a lot in her line of work, and if she needs to be on another island because she's the only person in her team, I cannot compete with that. Although I also got mad and extremely sad while trying to revise the plan and recalculate the budget.

The only difference was - B was very apologetic to me when I messaged her. A was not. She just brushed it off like "hey, can't come."

And I took offence.

At first, she said, she couldn't come because she couldn't take a leave. However, this afternoon, she was talking to one of my friends in the group chat. C. C asked the same thing. A said she was actually asked if she had any travel plans for the next 6 months. She already said, "Yes." It was in the HR record, yet she decided not to go. It now appears to me that she actually had the chance to say, "Hey, I have prior plans on this date," and go on our trip. But she didn't she said she was shy to say there is trip planned.

I made it clear to her that I am hurt because it seems to me she didn't even consider the time I spent making sure we are all on the same page. Making sure we are all in the same place, we have a good hotel, we are in good rooms, etc. The fact that she had the option to at least try to ask for a leave, she didn't, made me feel like "Welp, sucks to be you, I'll be choosing work."

One of them, again, D, said, "Can you really not ask for a leave?" A said, "Then I won't get paid." D answered, "It'll just be 2 days." A, "I can't afford it."

But she's paying 120 USD for a trip she won't be in. It didn't make sense to me.

She said, it's just the timing was bad. I stand my ground, she could've done something.

She asked why it became a big deal when she did it, but not when B cancelled. The answer is because A basically just said, "Sorry, look for another person. Can't go. Bye."

I told her, if she could've just called me or texted me saying things came up, I would've been fine with it. I would've been understanding. I'm human, all I need is a little bit of sympathy.

We exchanged long messages, and I started saying what I wanted to say, how hurt I am. She replied back, defending herself, which of course she would. I would be too if I were getting grilled.

Then I said my piece and left the group chat. Yes, we were talking in a group chat.

I was extremely looking forward to this trip, and I was telling my boyfriend how hurt I was. My boyfriend said, he was surprised that I was reacting the way I was because from the get-go, A seemed like she didn't want to go, she just didn't have the guts to tell us.

Looking back, he was actually right.

She didn't want to go by land, she wanted to go by plane. But we all wanted to by land for price reasons.

She didn't want to go on the excursions because they were too much. I told her we can skip some.

Above all, she was always making excuses about maybe she won't be available.

We didn't think much about it because she was always like that; you would always have to please her, to beg her. I actually just realised maybe she really doesn't like us. She's probably tolerating us.

Welp, after writing about it, I guess this is the end of an era.

My boyfriend said I might have blown it out of proportion; she was already paying, we could've just gone, why was I extremely mad. But I think it was the principle of her not apologising to me for not making time that annoyed me.

I also think the rage I had was an accumulation of all the things I hated about her but tried to understand, tried to walk through. I'm just done now. I am fucking done.

It sucks consciously unfriending someone as an adult. They usually just go dormant. But this one. Well, it ended on a Monday.